The post I wrote last week was quite serious, discussing mental health and stigma.  I’m planning for this blog to cover various topics. Sometimes it’s good to be serious; *AND I also like to write about lighter things too.  I’m planning to write some posts about Hedwig.  Who is Hedwig? Well, I like to say that he is the only man for me! Technically, he isn’t a man, he’s a cat; AND he is so much more than a cat to me.  He is a cat I promise you, however, from the way he acts you would think he was a dog (or a human!)

Why the name Hedwig? Well, as you get to know me through reading this blog; you will realise that I am a huge Harry Potter fan.  Yes, I am nearly 40 but that doesn’t stop me being obsessed with Harry Potter.  There are a few movies and TV shows, which to me are like my bread and butter.  I find it comforting and relaxing to watch them over and over again. My two favourites are the Harry Potter movies and Downton Abby ( the TV seasons and the movies). There are others too – like Call the Midwife, Outnumbered Summer Heights High ect), but Harry Potter and Downton Abby are the big two…

Yes I went off on a tangent, as you get to know me from reading this blog you will discover that I love segways!  I start talking about one thing and before you know it, I’m talking about a completely different topic.  An example of this was at work the other day (I work I childcare).  I was talking about the children and the games they enjoy playing, next minute I was telling my college that these children were born at the perfect time for space travel, and one of them may end up living on Mars!

There I go again! Okay – focus Luna!  So, I was talking about Hedwig, my little furry friend. I got the name from Harry Potter.  Hedwig is Harry’s owl. She is actually female, and my Hedwig is male AND I don’t think that matters one bit.

I got Hedwig about 18 months ago, 6 months into my DBT journey. Before then I had had two Guinea pigs, Ginny and Hermione (Yes – names from Harry Potter!) I loved them and they were right for me at the time.  Back then, pre DBT I spent a lot of time in and out of hospital.  It didn’t matter so much with Guinea pigs, they are low maintenance and if I was in hospital I could get a Support worker to go to my unit and feed them.  Cats and dogs however need a lot of attention and routine, and it wouldn’t have been fair to get a cat or dog back then when I was in and out of hospital all the time.

By the time I had been doing DBT for six months, my therapist had helped me realise that I didn’t need to depend on hospital so much. DBT was teaching me that when I became unwell – physical or mentally, I could usually manage at home using my DBT skills, NDIS supports and self-care.  I decided that I was ready to get a more interactive pet.  I found a lovely home for the Guineas. I gifted them, their cage and all their toys and equipment to a lovely young lady who lives with Down Syndrome.  I’m sure that she and the Guineas bring each other much happiness.

Initially I wanted to get a dog. I talked it over with one of my good friends, M. She convinced me a cat would be better and she was right. I live in a one-bedroom apartment, and I wasn’t as fit back then as I am now, so I think it would have been difficult for me to take a dog for a walk every day. Ironically I pretty much ended up with a dog anyway, well – a cat that thinks he’s a dog!

I found Hedwig on gumtree.  I saw a photo of a tabby cat, about six weeks old.  I contacted the seller and paid a deposit. I was very organised – asking what food and kitty litter they were using for him.  I made an appointment with the vet for the initial immunisations and microchipping. I bought all the equipment needed and a cat carry cage.  I organised for a support worker (S) to take me to pick Hedwig up. 

S and I got a bit of a shock when we arrived at the seller’s house.  The seller didn’t speak much English. She placed a black and white cat in my arms.  S started trying to advocate for me. She told the seller that we had agreed to by a tabby cat: when the seller didn’t seem to understand what S was saying, S showed her the picture from Gumtree.  The seller made some gestures – pointing to the picture of the tabby cat and saying – “No, he go shoo shoo!”  She seemed to be trying to tell us that the tabby cat had gone, perhaps to another buyer.  S opened her mouth, wanting to advocate for me.  I put my hand on her shoulder and told her it was okay.  Whilst this clearly wasn’t the cat that I had agreed to buy, from the minute the seller put the black and white cat in my arms I knew.  I knew he was mine and I knew he was perfect.  From that moment on I have never doubted that Hedwig is the perfect cat for me!

When we got Hedwig home, he hid under the couch.  He was just a tiny kitten.  My SW went to woollies and bought rolls and rolls of toilet paper.  My idea was to put the toilet paper around the couch so there was no longer a gap he could get under.  Later someone asked me why I hadn’t used pool noodles, which would have been cheaper and easier than toilet paper.  I felt pretty silly.  The thing is I have no common sense.  My brother used to say to me: “You are very intelligent sis, but you have now common sense!”, this is true. 

I gave Hedwig space that first day, doing my own thing whilst watching him out of a corner of my eye.  I went to bed, leaving the door open.  Hedwig had been ignoring me all day, and then suddenly, just as I was falling asleep, he jumped up onto the bed and snuggled into me.  That was a pretty special moment.

He still likes to snuggle with me on the bed at night.  There was a time when I would have to shut him out of the bedroom at night, because he was waking me up every hour.  He hated that and would miaow and scratch at the door.  It was heartbreaking for me.  Just recently he has been allowed back into the bedroom at night.  He seems to have finally learned; (fingers crossed) that he needs to let me sleep.  I wake in the night, and find him either snuggled into my side, between my feet, and sometimes sitting on top of me.  Its pretty special waking in the night and knowing I’m not alone.

When it comes to food, Hedwig thinks he is human. I should mention here that he always has dry food in his bowel, and he gets his wet food once a day.  He likes the cat food, but he likes human food more!  He takes after his mum though (that’s me!), and likes junk food more than healthy food.  I’ve put fresh salmon in his bowel before, and he turns up his nose; but if he hears me open a packet of chips, he’s next to me before I know it.  He likes Shapes chicken Crimpy’s best.  I try to only let him have a couple, its hard though because he’s just so cute!  

His favourite breakfast is cereal. The deal is I eat the cereal and he gets the milk that’s left in the bowel.  He particularly likes it when we have chocolate cereal; he loves the chocolate milk (its lactose free milk, and he only has a small amount).  The thing is, and there is no doubt about this: Hedwig is the boss in our house! He makes that very clear.  Often, I don’t get to finish my cereal, as he’s trying to get into the bowel to have his milk.  It’s a bit to gross for me to keep eating the cereal once he’s been lapping up the milk, so many mornings I don’t get much breakfast. 

After breakfast I usually need to go out to work or an appointment; he doesn’t like me leaving the house – he nibbles my ankle to try to get me to stay.   I bribe him with cat treats – trust me, we go through a lot of cat treats.

If I go to work, he knows what time I get home, so sits on the windowsill waiting for me; when he sees me wheel my bike out the lift, he runs to the door.  When I let myself in, he lies in the corridor on his back, like a dog – ready for belly pats. This is lovely AND it’s hard to wheel my bike in when he’s lying in the middle of the corridor!  Eventually I manage to get my bike through the door, and Hedwig and I have cuddles and play with his toy.  He has a million toys but only plays with one – this weird spring thing from Kmart. He likes me to throw it, and he will fetch it like a dog.

When I go for my shower – he sits on the toilet seat waiting for me.  When I have dinner, he’ll stick his paw right into the bowel – trying to sneak a taste.  When visitors come to my house this surprises them, but I’m used to it now. 

Nev likes routine and so do I; in the evening we relax together – me in my massage chair and him usually in the chair next to me; That’s his chair – he’s decided that. He is the boss remember! 

You can probably tell from what I’ve told you about Hedwig – how close we are. He’s more than a pet – he’s a companion; a best friend who can always make me smile. There has been a lot of research done around pets and mental health. I’ve read about some of the studies done around the benefits of pets, and the common conclusion is that pets are great for mental health.  And this is so true – Hedwig has had a huge positive impact on my wellbeing.

I don’t know what I would do without him – his unconditional love and the joy he brings me; he is legit the best thing that’s ever happened to me.  He is my best friend and companion.  He is one of the few people in my life whom I know will love me no matter what.  His love for me is unconditional.  No matter what, he is there for me. I wake up in the night and feel him snuggled into me.  I wake in the morning and he is so happy it’s time to start our day. 

Before Hedwig, it was always ‘me’.  Now, its ‘us’. 

Since Hedwig has come into my life I have never felt alone, or lonely.

He is perfect!!!

Thank you for reading.

Love, Luna.

Footnote *

You will find in my blog posts I try not to use the word ‘but’.  One of the main focuses of this blog will be Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT).  Taking the DBT course sparked a positive change in my life, leading to this blog.  In DBT people are encouraged to use “and” instead of “but” – to embrace the concept of dialectics.  This concept recognises that two seemingly contradictory things can be true at the same time.  An example of this is if a psychologist wrote in a report: “Luna had a very difficult and traumatic childhood but she seems happy now”.  If I (Luna) read this, it would feel very invalidating, suggesting that what I went through in my childhood wasn’t important because I am happy now.  It would feel more validating if the psychologist wrote: “Luna had a very difficult and traumatic childhood and she seems happy now”.  When put this way, my traumatic childhood is being validated, together with the fact that I now seem happy. Furthermore, this hints at the journey I (Luna) have been on in order to get to a happy place.

I will talk more about DBT in future blog posts, I just wanted to explain the meaning behind the AND’S.  To my knowledge, there is nothing in DBT to suggest when using the word ‘and’ you need to use upper case letters, I just do this to remind myself and others why I am using the word ‘and’ rather than ‘but’.